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Isn't it wonderful that we have such strict gender codes that almost everybody follows like sheep? This is what makes it fun and exciting to brake those rules.
 In itself, all the term cross-dressing means, is to wear the clothes of the 'opposite' sex. What exactly those clothes are, depends on the gender codes in that place at that time. Now you know why women hardly ever cross dress: In this day and age, women's clothing fashion practically includes all men's clothing. This means that women CAN'T cross dress in the way men can because there are virtually no gender boundaries for them to cross. This is not quite true for hairstyles though. A number of masculine hairstyles are still socially considered 'inappropriate' for women to wear. Although hair fashion is a much stronger gender code than clothes ever will be, it is not necessarily included in the act of cross-dressing. Wearing wigs is an attempt to circumvent that contradiction by turning hairstyles into something you can 'put on and take off' at will. Here, I'll focus on the clothes aspect since there will be another section on hair. So why do people cross-dress?I can think of countless reasons to cross-dress. In fact, its a lot harder to think of reasons NOT to cross-dress. Some people might just do it because it can be freaking hilarious:
Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pattista/ / CC BY 2.0
What is metrosexual?This wretched word has caused a lot of damage to the fragile movement of male emancipation. Firstly, it paints the whole picture as one about sexuality and that has, not surprisingly, led to an association with homosexuality. Why is that so wrong? Well the whole point of emancipated fashion is that dressing femininely is NOT necessarily about your sexuality. You can be gay, straight, bi, purple striped or anything else. The other problem with the word metrosexual is that it exists at all: Labeling means drawing attention to it and making it an issue of some kind to wear make-up or dress femininely. Again, emancipation aims to make it normal (i.e. not an issue worth labeling) to wear clothes of any gender.
How do women feel about cross dressing men?Nobody can answer this for all the women in the world but I'll try to give an outline of the typical reactions and how they're caused It depends largely on two things: 1) How you ask them. 2) Who you're asking. So many cross dressing men complain that they were caught in the act and their partner freaked out. Well you had it coming buddy. You should not keep such a secret from your partner in the first place. Seriously, you can't expect her to just be cool about it when she stumbles in on you dancing to swan lake after ten years of acting out the macho husband. She will feel cheated and deceived and she's right to feel that way. Another favorite complaint is that women often forbid their partners to cross-dress. Well, I'll be very cold and clear here: Your own fault! I'm sorry I'm not more comforting or coddling to you but that wouldn't help either. If you let anyone forbid you to wear whatever you want in your own home then you deserve whatever you get. Just don't ever complain about society being intolerant towards cross-dressers. How can you seriously expect people in the streets to be fine about cross dressing when you willingly allow it to be forbidden in the privacy of you own four walls? Its the men in this situation that collectively manage to keep male emancipation in its infancy. You'll find that most women don't mind cross dressing at all if you tell them in the right way at the right time. You'll also find that a lot more women than you think actually love it. I believe there are also lots of women who love cross dressers but don't know it because they've never given it a thought or because the only time they've come across it was when it was treated as some perversion or just a game. When I told my girlfriend, she first laughed (believe me, thats a very good first reaction) and then moved on to tolerating it (since its not harming anyone). After witnessing the act once or twice, she got aroused by it - much to her and my surprise. It turns out, she likes it every bit as much as I do and its an integral part of our relationship that neither of us would want to do without. There is an entirely different reason why women might appreciate cross dressing men: Sharing an intimate secret with someone is always an act of great trust. She'll feel special and privileged that you share this with her. That also increases loyalty and faithfulness on your part. I've heard someone say "... When I see my boyfriend dressed up, I can't imagine any other woman wanting him, and makes him mine alone...". How do I tell my girlfriend that I like to wear women's clothes?Its all about how you communicate things. If you treat it as a big dirty secret (for example by hiding it for years and having her catch you in the act) then she'll perceive it as exactly that: a dirty secret. If you want her to think of it as normal, harmless and positive, then tell her about it as such. So the real secret is, to first accept it within yourself as something thats fine. Then you'll send the right signals at the right time. You can safely test the water by bringing up the subject in another context (for example talk about a movie that features cross dressing) and see how she feels about it. Above all, you must share such things with your partner. Only then are you giving her a fair chance to deal with it calmly. That doesn't mean you should wear a sign on your fist date saying "I'm a panty pervert" - unless you want your first date to be the last. The exact moment depends on you and her but its best to say it as soon as possible after you've established a relationship. Bare in mind, some women just might not like it for no particular reason. It could just be a matter of taste just like some women might not like blonds or green eyes. In that case, she must decide if it bothers her too much to be with you or not. In this case, its not your problem since you can't force her to like something. Some couples also find it works to have an arrangement such as only dressing at certain times or in certain rooms. I'm not terribly convinced as its still a form of forbidding even though its watered down. Besides, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who rejects that side of me. But everyone is different here and thats a choice you have to make.
Should the gender codes in fashion be abandoned?Don't be too quick. Of course, we want more freedom and tolerance for wearing whatever we want, but there is a price attached. If there are no taboos to break and no risks to take, then we loose a lot of what makes it fun and exciting in the first place. I might never have gotten into it if it wasn't a little naughty.
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